10. Anxiety, Awareness, Agency - with Dennis Harhalakis
"Finance is numbers. Money is beliefs."
That's how my guest this week, Dennis Harhalakis — Certified Money Coach (CMC)®, founder of Cambridge Money Coaching, and trainer for the Money Coaching Institute of California — frames the distinction that changed everything for him on The Money Story Project podcast.
Dennis spent 30 years in financial services. Trading rooms. Wealth management. He helped set up a private bank. And yet when the regular paycheque stopped, he discovered that knowing about money and understanding your relationship with it are two completely different things.
In this episode, Dennis shares his journey from inherited anxiety to hard-won awareness:
- Inheriting his father's money anxiety — traced back through generations to the 1800s — and dragging it around without realising.
- The profound difference between feeling financially secure and feeling emotionally safe with money.
- Why working in a bank doesn't make you any better with money than anyone else — financial advisors go bankrupt, accountants go bankrupt.
- How the financial system is designed to benefit the wealthy and educated — while exploiting the mistakes of everyone else.
- The question he asks every client: "How was money talked about when you were growing up?"
- Why "connection before solution" changes everything — for advisors, coaches, and anyone helping someone with money.
- The simple past/present/future reframe that cuts through shame about spending.
- Why more money won't make you feel safer — but feeling safe with what you have will.
- What Dennis would say to money now — after years of gripping it so tightly there was no room for anything else.
We also explore the newly released book Fixed by John Y. Campbell and Tarun Ramadorai on how the personal finance system is rigged against ordinary consumers, why people are shamed into thinking they have a spending problem when they actually have an income problem, and what it means to say "thank you, I've got this" to the anxious parts of yourself.
It's a conversation about money, yes. But also about inheritance, compassion, and learning to hold things differently.
Resources & Links
Read the accompanying article
Connect with Dennis:
- Website: cambridgemoneycoaching.uk
- LinkedIn: Dennis Harhalakis
Mentioned in this episode:
- Fixed by John Y. Campbell and Tarun Ramadorai (newly released)
Learn more about The Money Story Project and how to share your own story.
Connect with host Harriet Formby: LinkedIn | Instagram | Website
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